consider yourself [entries|friends|calendar] adrian jordan [ website | My Website ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

2 Spoke -  Speak sucks to be me right now [30 Jul 2008|12:31am] [ music | new beck of course ] i smell really good right now. old spice body wash smells freaggin awesome. erica is not pregnant. we just broke up and im really really bummed about it. theres no getting back together after this fight though. it wasn't a thing where we brought out the worst in each other and it wasnt violent or anything. it just wasn't going to work from the way it looked. i can't recall a relationship where i fought so much with the person i cared so much about so early on in the relationship and i know thats a really bad sign. on a lighter note though, im really looking forward to getting back in the studio and spending time with friends. especially now that my schedule is alot more definite and ill have money to do fun stuff. ill really miss her though. she was a good one. the new beck is pretty fucking awesome. i need an apartment soon and i want roommates. all cool people do apply please.

4 Spoke -  Speak i see skies of blue..... [26 Jul 2008|05:41pm] things bw the misses and i are fucked up as usual. i got invited to go to a bachelor party 2nite. ive never been to one, but these guys sound like they know how to do it right. first off we are leaving in a personally rented charted bus and then they left the extreme details out for the most part, but i know it involved boobs and beer - and im a big fan of both. i really would rather spend time with the misses, that probably sounds weird instead of wanting to go see tits n ass with a buzz, but we're not on good terms right now and i dont really wanna sit my ass on the couch all nite. plus a friend offered to pay my way and i can pay him back when i get a chance, which would be next check more than likely. hrrmmmmmmmm it would be a good opportunity to hangout with work peoples and get to know them on another level. i haven't gotten out in a long time, and in a really long long time like this. it might be fun, who knows. i paid almost 40 bucks for an oil change yesterday! thats fucking ridiculous. this shit is no where near funny any more. if we get a hurricane this season, im staying. i wont be able to afford evacuation. i heard international powers were planning on killing 3 billion people across the world by 2009. if this is true, maybe one way they are going about this is by increasing the cost of movement (jacking up gas prices twice their "normal" rate = would be about 6-7 bucks a gallon) while at the same time ordering a mandatory evacuation, people like myself who can't afford to leave will be forced to stay and suffer the consequences of blue collar income. when rita came, gas doubled to 3.00 - 3.50 a gallon, we're almost averaging a bit under 4/ gallon at most pumps. seriously fucked off. as if to make matters better, minimum wage went up. my training rate is barely over the new minimum wage. this is extremely sad to me and disgusting more than anything. at this pace, this world is destined to become a third world country if it even makes it to 2012. how fucking sad. i remember when i really REALLY didnt think twice about bringing kids into this world on account of being considerate.

6 Spoke -  Speak hallajueah its a rainin non men [24 Jul 2008|03:20pm] [ music | was deftones like yesterday ] got rained out today for the second day in a row. meh - my next weeks paycheck will thoroughly wreek but ill manage. i just have to get a few things fixed on my car. the brakes are shot and the rotars are grinding really bad. i think my brother is fixing me up somewhat with this mechanic that will give me a good price if i buy the parts. thanks to amanda for coming to this past practice on tuesday and bestowing us with her photographic skills. very cool of you. i saw some of the shots and they came out quite well as does most of her work. the music is coming along pretty good i think. we'll be ready for that show in san antonio i think. things between erica and i are on the ups for the most part. i have a hunch that things between her and i are about to change waaaaaay up to another level but its too soon to really say but its a life changing thing and im really excited about it. even it what i think is going on isnt the case, ill still welcome it of course and be excited about it, but im not going to say that it scares me a bit and could have been better planned. SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT!!!! i might be a daddy-o! can you fucking believe it. she's been throwing up for a week and a half straight and stuff. i wanted to start putting money away and i told her that FOR THE BABY she needed to lose some weight. she's about 220 lbs or so im guessing and ive heard that its not healthy for the baby for the mother to be overweight. im hoping she isnt, ONLY becuz we need to better plan this, but we'll manage either way : ) im excited. ive always wanted kids, and i couldnt think of a better mother and we started saying the L word to each other this past week. i wanted to tell her for a while, but i couldn't wait any longer and ive felt that way about her for a while so, yuppers!!! : ) around the fur is a good musical album, but his lyrics on that album suck ass. THE SLIP has a few good songs on it, but on the whole, i think its an incomplete album. probably the worst one of all of his. i like tracks 4 - 8 though. those are really good. the rest are kinda blah peace out homies and homettes

6 Spoke -  Speak [20 Jul 2008|03:01pm] i think im going to be off for a few days. the worlds 2nd largest crane is within feet of where i check in to work everyday and it fell over when they were adjusting the counter weight system on friday afternoon. it killed 4 people and injured a few others. we had to evacuate and we dont know exactly when we are going to be able to return to work as of right now. sux. im sorry that this happen and that families were effected and lives were lost, but this seriously fucks with my money and thats not cool at all. went to an astros game last nite. it was alot of fun. astros won vs the cubs. i went with anna and her sister and some of her sisters friends. it was nice to get out for a change and meet some new people. we went to the burger king off westheimer after that and watched all the shit go down around in that area. what an entertaining area for all ages. i wish my mom was in better health. i wouldnt feel bad about taking my dads offer to move back in with him. its closer to work, more sleep, a nicer place etc etc... i think she goes in for an appointment very soon and that will be a better determination of things. i shouldn't use my parents as an excuse not to live my own life, i know but as much as she gets on my last nerve, i do wish to take care of her in that way. when this fucking crane gets back up and pulled out of the ground. i hope things for me change in a better way financially. i really liked wade's apt and he doesn't pay much. ive had a few other offers for roommates but i have no money saved, but it is incentive.

2 Spoke -  Speak [13 Jul 2008|07:04pm] i dont think things bw myself and erica are going to workout or last. im not sure if im all that upset about it. i guess becuz i actually did things right or "sat pretty" and didnt go behind her back and do anything i wasn't supposed to. that was actually my biggest fear and reluctancy of wanting to ask her for a more committed. there was a bit on her part too, but i guess its easier to let something go if you know you are not in the wrong of its demise. i think she is a really cool chick though, and i dont really want her to be eliminated from my life, she's nearly everything i could possibly want, and her sense of humor is fucking amazing and she's really smart, maybe through talking with her something can be salvaged from this. went to a part this weekend with ethan_neuter and the guitarist in THE QUIETIST - wade and a bunch of his friends. it wasn't your average party - mostly 20 - 30 year olds that were philosophy majors or something to do with some idealogical or art related thing. it made for really cool conversations. i miss hanging out with __josh__ n jen_if_er. maybe sometime i can catch them soon.

Speak good nite livejournal [10 Jul 2008|10:42pm] [ music | mumblings from a mute - catastrophic kitchen ] i didnt get to finish it, but guy at work suggested that i watch = ESOTERIC AGENDA - its on youtube in 14 parts or on google tube or whatever their version is in one gigantic hour and 42 minute release. i highly suggest it. i had to stop watching it becuz it was a bit too long for my now standing "kerfew", jk but really it was more my interests level. it has to do with organized and secret societies. its extremely informational, although i tend to question everything, so i dunno who did it or what their resources are/were, but either way, the information is crazy as far as how they piece together a more ancient puzzle that explains more importantly why things are the way they are now - politically and socially and by that means, what they are soon to become. like i said, very interesting and aggrivating if you are like me, i get a bit flustered when i realize a situation sux and i (as of right now) have done nothing within my power to do anything about it big or small. maybe that will change soon.

4 Spoke -  Speak [07 Jul 2008|11:31am] work is going ok. today will be my last day before a two month 7/12 turn around starts. it will be a shitload of work and not time for much else, but im hoping to atleast be placed on days. ill find out tomorrow. this company is the most unorganized company ive ever worked for in my life. music has been on the up, but sadly for a bit may be put on hiatus for work. it will be good money though after about two months or so. ill make triple what i made all last year that was taxable in these two - three months, so its worth it to me. the quietist group is coming along better than i thought it would n the cross the streams (although im not fond of the name) studio project is put even further on the back burner which im really not thrilled about at all. something i finally like and enjoy and then this, but i knew that when i took the job. things with girl are good. we bicker sometimes, but about small petty things and are usually quick to make amends if they are even needed. we are both pretty opinionated and not afraid to non offensively let the other know how the other feels at any given time. her kid is kinda growing on me. her family is having troubles and she just lost her dog that she's had for 4 years so that wasn't cool. happy belated 4th, id have to say this is probably my 2nd most favorite holiday becuz you get to blow shit up and set things on fire. when i was smaller, we'd use this holiday and new years to land rockets on the roofs of neighbors we didnt care for or were too drunk to reason as to why its not a good idea to pelt their roof with bottle rockets at 2am. good memories. i wanna do something today. my cell phone should be turned back on in a few hours.

1 Spoke -  Speak other than that [17 Jun 2008|10:43pm] [ music | rub it in why dont u ] ive been talking to this femalian here lately. she's very cool. very cool indeed. But the sensation of having and allowing the development of emotions is so foreign to me, its kind of surreal in a way. Id nearly forgotten what certain emotions felt like, thats kinda scares me about myself in a way. why do i do the things that i do or dont do - that sorta thing. but either way things go, its been a pretty interesting experience to wake up and go to sleep to the same person even if its not all the time physical and talk to them pretty much all day. im kinda scared. kinda terrified. i think of her alot when she's not around. she tells me this too, tells me this is how she knows she likes me. makes me wonder. she's definately different from other girls and says she wants things that im not used to at some point n time. i dont even know, and im convinced she doesnt have much more of a clue than i do. In some ways i find that encouraging becuz we are both sorta figuring this out as it unfolds, but i dunno. im pretty fucking selfish when it comes to time. im such a pussy when it comes to getting hurt and im always starving when its comes to being fed and i never have enough when i wanna give. the symbol for windows media player in win xp looks like the old skool game simon says from the 80's. i still have mine somewhere. sometimes i think tangents are where its at. music. god i miss you. i can't fucking wait until things get more financially stable for me in a week or two and i no longer have to worry about whether or not THAT will be the issue stopping me. money is so lame. go fuck your mother money. id like to get into the studio and add to whats already been started. i feel like im getting behind or something; definately like im missing out on something. new musical toys soon? i hope, after a few paychecks. peace out yo

Speak dear journal [17 Jun 2008|10:04pm] [ music | been listening to the same shit ] get lost stay connected dont even try cleanly breathing infection you still lose but you'll always remain you've meant more to me than simply just another name i couldn't tell you even if i tried i can attempt but it starts with a lie good enough for you enough for you whats good enough good enough for you enough for you thats enough of you whats good enough for you enough of you is that enough for you? im sorta partial but its out in the open i was kinda hoping you were up to some dual sided coping whats that you spat from the top of your head im begining to think youre biased to regret thats all i want i want it all thats all i want whats wrong it all thats all i want it all whats wrong with that thats all i want it all i want thats all i want you keep trying to tell me thats there more than meets the eye but i can't ignore my findings that there nothing lies good enough for you enough for you whats good enough good enough for you enough for you thats enough of you whats good enough enough of you is that enough for you? thats all i want i want it all thats all i want whats wrong it all thats all i want it all whats wrong with that thats all i want it all i want and i want it all

Speak tick tock tick [05 Jun 2008|02:22pm] [ music | have a crack at it ] MUSCIALLY : Things are a changin. Along with the previously established project that is still in the works and working on new material, I also joined another side project. Musically, this one is quite different from the other, which im all for. Its more on the lines of sleeping people or sleepy people and just good music. I'm a fan, what can i say, can i do that - hell fuck yes i can. Cross the streams (the tenative name for the prior project) is working on new material and trying to decide what to cover that would work exactly with the setup we have so far. I do hope in the future that this band grows in members but im not personally rushing any additional bodies, i appreciate a more natural progression and when the time is right sorta thing. The other project is very awesome as well. Im very excited about both and to be in both. I work with some really great minds and talented individuals. LOVE : I'm no longer in the open relationship I was in. Single i guess more or less, but ive been speaking with a certain female more intensely than i have since i can remember. The communication is awesome. She is beyond what i could want in a companion. I can't remember the last time i stayed on the phone for hours talking and talking, and i dont consider myself to be a phone person and usually quickly lose interests in girls. She is a pretty righteous femalian. She is recently coming out of a very long relationship and im trying to be extra sensitive with that but still let her know the level of my interests in her and continuing a progressive uphill acquantance and its hopeful transformation. THE WORK WORK : I got tired of working so many hours and that pretty much ruling the everyday course of my life there for several months so i finally quit that wretched steel mill. I worked and moved to h-town on the north side selling tow truck contracts from business to business for a short time to get by and just landed a job in Pasadena doing pipe inspection. I have no hopes for this job really other than financially. The hours are promised to be good, and the pay is better than i was making. The company i work for now also offers growth with certifications that they pay for and provide that are also accompanied by a boost in payrate, which is always welcomed by yours truely. THE FUTURE : I hope to use the job financially to get some new equipment. Im thinking of retiring the bass i have and just keeping it as a keepsake. I also really wanna buy a processor and hopefully a few pedals, and CHORDS! God we need chords so bad. I'd really like to stay in houston as far as where i lay my head, but with gas prices the way they are rising and rising with no ceiling in sight, looks like i more than likely will be migrating back to the dirty bay once again. I'm not thrilled about this but it does have its perks. I think other things will work out and fall into place, I hope. **** SIDE NOTE **** I cannot stop listening to the newer NIN. Year Zero, Ghosts I -IV, and With Teeth have enveloped my interests and attention and ill only veer off for something different for a few songs before going right back to it. Normally id be scared for myself, but its damn good music. I'm up for new stuff as always, but some people just dont do music as good as others.

Speak hand feeding in the lion's den [30 Apr 2008|06:56am] [ music | always changing ] got a promotion at work. yay for me. my job is tremendously easier. i would have probably quit by now if it wasnt for this. i dunno if my boss could sense that or what but thats not important, what IS is that i got moved and the work is much much easier physically which leaves more energy for working out and just living period. that and my hands function normally. i can eat dinner at a table and actually cut up a steak without cringing and wanting to scream becuz of the pain in my hands as i sink a knife into a piece of meat. that was not fun and i dont recommend it. also i am for sure hired on to be permanent, yay for me again. not too much else to report really. id like to get a 2nd car, but it wont come easy. i have my eye on this '64 pontiac wildcat parked on the other side of town. i talked to the guy about private finance, got him to lower the price and agreed to pay off over a couple of months, but with moving out soon, i dont really think its such a good idear. maybe afterwards after i see what expenses are and am able to better gauge finances n suches. that would be bad arse though. i looooove classic cars. i have ever since i was small when my dad would take me to car shows. i remember he had a '49 ford he would fix up and take me for rides in, beautiful car. anyways

2 Spoke -  Speak back to life, back to reality [20 Apr 2008|05:41am] [ music | mmmmmm yesh ] this past weekend was super awesome. time in the studio is my sunshine and ive been needing a tan badly. this new project is really starting to get a really good footing. the music is different than most stuff that ive been involved with, but good different; or atleast i think. ideas are definately not in short, and i feel very safe with saying that talent isnt either. as was all past projects as well, but in this one, we are all very vocal and it really helps for direction and excitement. so far, ususally we end up forgetting some of the ideas we come up with becuz they are so abundant. there's joking talk of a side goof project that i think could actually happen somewhere further down the road. im changing my attitude towards work. the shifts have been seeming to get longer and longer. i think who im stationed with has some to do with it. this black guy doesn't talk at all hardly, but he's a good worker that actually helps me out, so its kinda having one but not the other. butt, even though i really would like to get a different job asap, its obviously going to have to wait till sometime in the hopefully not too distant future. i love the money, but timewise, its pretty ridiculous, and there isnt a whole lot passion wise that can be said about steel pipes. still though, im changing my attitude to wanting to be there, or atleast working more towards that for my sanity's sake and just to try to make it easier on me. i think it will happen. i might be going to radiohead? this chick might have an extra ticket and i might possibly be the lucky weiner. that would be rad. jumbo extra rad. i wont have the priviledge of seeing dillinger though. ive seen them 4 times already, but they have a new drummer and a different singer i believe from the last time i saw them. still would be cool though, but not going to happen. stp isnt too far away though. i would really like to get a group of folks together that would like to go for carpooling reasons and simply becuz i think it'd be fun to go with a group of friends, so if you plan on going, hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

8 Spoke -  Speak ahhhhhh shit i got a head rush [16 Apr 2008|07:43am] [ music | FL trax a few mins ago ] work is kinda crazy, but what else is new. my bosses boss keeps putting me out in bfe, and its a plant that is 5 miles long, so bfe is really bfe. i think he likes me though, its amazing how offering someone fritos can go so far. more power to the fritos, they hold special holy magical powers with their corn shards in them. little known secret. but yeah, my boss and my bosses boss likes me, always good. after talking with both of them today, it was confirmed that the rumor that the plant will be shutting down in a month is true. then it was revealed to me that the reason ive been plucked from my normal spot is becuz he is training me to be versatile and told me that he will get to choose who he wants to keep. i took that as a, learn this and you're in kinda thing. good yes, but this job is really unsafe. today i got whacked in the head with a 50lb pipe wrench coming off a 15 ton pipe going about 20 mph. how long did it take adrian to scream you fucking idiot to the moron that was operating the kicker? why no time at all. did not feel good in the least. then i realized while moving pipe manually with this huge wrench that if i were to fall on this greasy floor or miss placing my wrench in the right spot at the right time while its traveling about 20 mph, that i would be absolutely crushed and die. no doubt about it. my previous spot had its hazards, but nothing like this. i think its about time that i look for another job. its a cross bw laziness, not really having any time, but mainly - not wanting to use the free time i do have to put towards finding anything else. this past weekend was fantabulous. couldn't have asked for better. studio happenings are coming along wonderfully. i like the new project that is forming. just wish i had more time to donate to things. also on my wish list is an accoustic gat fiddle. not expensive, just something to strum. paid off my car. in a hurry too. 1600 a month will pay off any car in a fucking hurry. now i can start saving for moving out. myself and josh from work are more than likely going to get a place together. either a town home, a large two bdrm apt, or a trailer. the trailer idea doesn't really please me, not the trashy aspect of it, i kinda dig that, but the whole mowing the lawn thing and keeping up with the yard bullshit. not gonna get it outta me.

2 Spoke -  Speak FUCKING HEEEEEEEELL TO THA YES!!!! [08 Apr 2008|11:23pm] [ music | bellybutton lent makes no noises ] STP ON TOUR!!!! PLAYING AT THE WOODLANDS ON JUNE 28TH!!!! I ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THIS BAND LIVE AND NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO, ANYONE WANNA COME WITH? THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING GRRRRRRRRRRREAT, EVEN THAT MUCH MO BETTA THAN FROSTED FLAKES

1 Spoke -  Speak so good to see you, i missed you so much [06 Apr 2008|12:37pm] [ music | sexual seduction - snoop on tv (fathernhood) ] i stayed home last nite with my broke ass. i didnt really wanna go out and go crazy so much, so i just stayed home and decided to investigate FRUITY LOOPS that ive been neglecting for years on end now. i actually feel i made some - progress maybe, not too much with knowing the program itself, but more just getting into seeing that it has ALOT of potential. i was really stuck mentally on IT for some stupid reason, FRUITY LOOPS is fareeakin awesome possum! i ended up making like a 2 - 3 minute rough track that is no where near proper sequencing or fine tuning but the ideas are definately there and if i do toot my horn a little bit, they sound pretty damn good. i came up with a sick ass bassline on one part, very powerful, very dark, very good. makes me excited. i stayed up very late working on it after locking myself in my room, gladly too. this makes me happy. i used to track so much it was ridiculous. every nite was like a tracking party. getting stoned, tracking over at matts or alan's. good times indeeb. i also wrote some new lyrics to something last nite that i really like as well. kinda just spewed out. i think id like to do something with it im pretty sure. in a way im kinda glad that my old book was lost at a doctors office and thrown away after determining that i was "crazy" - this coming from a quack of all people after reading it supposedly. atleast with it being gone, im not relying on old mind sets or thoughts to create a new sensation or anything with. kinda glad in a way, although it would have been a nice book to have. almost 300 pages and most of it was full. ah vel. i hope the gym is open still. last nite i didnt make it home, eat, shower and get ready to get my workout in b4 8pm. hopefully sleeping in and staying up late wont cut it short either. a workout would be vonderful and relieving.

Speak [05 Apr 2008|07:42pm] [ music | was radiohead - paranoid android ] im off tomorrow. i wish money wasn't such an issue, but it be for now. she's understanding, even better, she helps. ive been kinda torn with dedicating myself to an individual period lately. i always do this. this time it was somewhat being unselfish somewhere in there. she's younger that me, and i told her she should be going out alot and doing that thing, but she claims to not want to. i dont really see how thats possible. if i wasn't working and had my car paid off already, id see her, but id be doing other things as well. so ive been taking that into consideration as much as possible and i think im just going to watch things happen somewhat. i have other things that are honestly as important if not more important that id like to dedicate my time to. not by any means saying that spending time with female company and having that grow in a direction that is positive is time not well spent, i just have other things that i like to be extremely selfish with and indulgent and it can be problematic if there is someone else expecting me to dedicate some or most of my free time to them. sounds selfish and it totally is, but its true. i think ill find a balance somehow. i dont want to be alone, and i think she is good for me. she's good for herself, i think thats one of her best qualities. ran into chad, an old friend that i hadnt see since i left him at a gas station after beating his ass for stealing from me. he apologized and i told him that i was sorry it came to that, but friends that i stick my neck out for and have done so for several thousand times. anyways, long story short, it was cool to see us both doing well and in the right minds to where apologies and understanding could be exchanged and get past things. my brother just showed up. lates

Speak i said GOD DAMN! [31 Mar 2008|06:37am] [ music | white kids on hiphop = MCCHris ] off today finaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy. its about damn time too. this past week has been really different. i dunno, i guess ive been horsing around way more than ususal. trying to make the time go by faster by enjoying having to be there. i got a job offer in the met lab, thats MET LAB, doing really easy shit for a considerable amount more. my car broke down in the middle of the road when coming back from the gym. got it fixed in one day = amazing. also amazing was the 450 dollar repair bill. even further amazing was that my step mom refused my $$$, which made me feel guitly at first, but i had no money, offered obviously to pay it by adding it to the already 1600$ that i owe them, but they said i was doing really good and instead of splitting the cost of the car, they'd fix it instead. fine by me. in other news, for all the guys and girls who like girls, theres that down there to feast your eyes and whatever other body parts you decide to feast when looking at this. i saw this girl in a hiphop magazine the other day. this pic really does her no justice. she was doing black pinup girl shots, which is a first to see any girl other than a white girl doing them, i just thought she was so strikingly gorgeous and has a body that just screams. you should look up more pix of her, her body is extremely talented. so yes, this : this woman is fucking up my christmas! ANGEL LOLA LUV and this of ANGEL LOLA LUV again : mmmmmmmm yup!

9 Spoke -  Speak could things finally be good, like for real good? [26 Mar 2008|11:09am] [ mood | becoming satisfied ] [ music | workin on it ] wow - its weird when you can see how you've handled certain situations in the past, finally and then use that information to straighten things out that are forming and to come. bad relationships from the past, mainly one specific have begun to train me to think that all relationships are fucked up, wrecking, and painful. this made me hugely afraid of trusting someone, committment, that whole thing. thats slowly chipping away. i credit this to mariah. she is probably the best thing to happen to me in a loooooong long time. its weird, becuz im kinda still warming up to her overall. it wasn't and still isnt instantaneous that i even want to spend time with her and things like that, but it is happening and i think its going to be alot better than i can even imagine. i credit that to said things before, and the fact that she lives in houston and has no car, nor a license even, but we're working on both of those things. today i found out that she won the student of the year award at UofH! that is so awesome. im so proud of her! she totally deserves it. i dont think, no, i know ive never dated a girl that works as hard as she does. i cant wait until things work wise get a bit easier on me as far as hours and summer comes and she'll be more available. also, im pretty excited about this and it makes me feel soooooo good. she takes care of her mom, does EVERYTHING including rent, food etc... but after talking about it with her brother and her sister n law, her mom will hopefully be going to live with her brother soon and we are already talking about getting a place together. im soooo happy and excited about this. its weird how emotions and things to look forward to can be so energizing. i want to say more, but i need some sleep. we're going to go celebrate her HUGE award this monday. i knew i wanted to settle down, i really just never saw it with her, but now the picture is starting to develop. its weird, a bit scary, but im very excited, and more happy and i trust her and i KNOW she would never hurt me. she knows how to get to my heart without even knowing thats what she is doing. more gushy shit later, but not too much. who really wants to read about all that, but im so happy to write it!

2 Spoke -  Speak you little factoid you [25 Mar 2008|01:27pm] i was reading an article in MAXIM (march 2008) on the main organs in the human body and found some things that i thought were totally tubular and didnt have a clue about: 1) they have fake blood, different prototypes, one called HBOC's (hemoglobin based oxygen carriers) that made it to phase 3 of FDA's clinical trials and is only used in South Africa for whatever reason 2) there is a website ( http://www.liver4you.org ) based out of the Phillipines that you can go to and for 130,000 you can find a "donor" for you or whomever needs one? they also have a deal where in addition, if you happen to be kidney shopping, its only an additional 85,000 to scoop one up or out, how bout that! 3)this one is a crazy 'tory = some guy named Armin Meiwes posted an online ad looking for someone to butcher and bake, someone responded positively to the add. they but OFF his PENIS, they as in both, THEY ate it together while the "victim" bled to death. wtf? he devoured 40 lbs of flesh and organs before being discovered by the local officals. some seriously fucked up sheot!

3 Spoke -  Speak id like to have some new pix, these are just waaaay old [24 Mar 2008|04:41am] [ music | i need some headphones from walmart ] i feel pretty much like a jerk. ive been trying to get the actual sensation of having a life here lately and all it seems to do is get me disappointed. today i was going to go and spend time with mariah at her brothers, but was way to tired to do anything and decided to sleep until about 3am. i know she'll understand, she usually does and has so far, but i dont want to use that as an excuse to do or not do things. i wanted to have female company, working at a steel mill, the most female interaction you get is if you happen to go out to eat or want to talk to the cleaning ladies. on a better note, i can if i want to, go in today somewhat early and talk to HR about getting hired on. my boss gave me the green light to do so. not much of a raise, a dollar overall, and then sixty cents in addition to that for working nites, but i do get two full 12 hour days of orientation for safety and not have to grind or inspect pipes at all for those two days. also when on with the company, like this past good friday, i would have been making 24 dollars an hour in stead of my 15$. i like the sound of that. being that im not religious or particular to any holiday other than my birthday, im willing to work just about every holiday. weird ass dreams. i had two dreams. dream one : it was like watching a film. it always is. i was in this fort kinda, like a college somewhere surrounded by a nice green dense forest. myself and a couple others were running jumping from roof top to roof top on those mexican clay shingles. when we finally got down on the ground, it was kinda like an apt complex. there were people walking around with robes on and you couldnt really see their faces. there were also completely normal looking people walking around smiling. in what seemed like all of a sudden, they started chasing us and sorta doing like this werewolf transformation manuever to where their teeth sharpened and claws and their faces swole up to where they had no eyes and lots of veins popping out everywhere trying to eat us i guess, no hair though, it was all flesh and veins. i dunno, they didnt catch me, i took off for the forest. i know i got away, but i watched others get torn up and apart by the swollen things. then when the people in robes would come the swollen things would back off and the robed people would get their share. fucking weird. dream two : i was playing foot ball in my moms front yard with some people who i didnt know. (i think spending time with jessica and brandon might have had some kinda effect on this) i remember there was confetti in the air and streamers and fish, eels, and jelly fish for some reason. some of the fish were cyclops fish, which i had some really great explanation for in my dream but i cant think of now. we'd play football and when a fish would die or flatline, we'd use the electric eels to jump start their hearts again so they could go on about swimming through the air. there was also silly string. easter was good. got to see my family finally. i realized today that my father is pretty fortunate. he got to sit at a table with both his wives, the loves of his life and his children and their children and have a good meal on a sunny day. i think thats pretty awesome personally.

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